It’s time to get real and swap out those boring wired bras, there is something way more fun, and it may even leave you a little buzzed. Enter, the wine bra (also known as a wine rack bra). Here are ten reasons why you need one, stat!
1. The Wine Bra Holds Wine, Duh!
Well, we can’t be more obvious about this fact. The wine rack is specifically designed to hold wine in bra form — like a hidden flask – we dare you to think of something more awesome! This wine bra drink dispenser boasts a polyurethane bladder that holds up to 25oz of liquid heaven… err…. we mean wine.
The bladder is custom shaped to fit the machine washable bra, and it’s removable. The bra itself is a medium size that fits between a 34A and 34D bust. The only downside to this contraption is that it doesn’t fit all shapes and sizes. But there is always room for improvement!
2. Bigger Bust without the Fuss.
One obvious reason to scoop up one of these magnificent creations is for added liquid bust! Of course, you must remember that if you’re planning to drink the liquid, your ample extra cleavage may dissipate. Although, even empty, A-cuppers should notice extra bubble in the bra zone! Say goodbye to stuffing your bra with socks, folks. Liquid disperses much easier, giving you a smooth chest finish, that just so happens to taste delicious too!
P.S. Since it is a sports bra, there is no wire in sight…. Hallelujah!
3. You Can be the Life Of The Party with your Booze bra.
The girl (or guy) who shows up to any party wearing a wine bra is going to be the center of attention —guaranteed! When you pull out the nozzle and slurp away on your favorite vino, people are going to be jelly as hell (y). Flaunt your new party gadget while you enjoy being the star of the show. Just don’t keep your best secret to yourself —and tell them all where you found it. Helping a friend lock a wine rack down will give you some serious party cred!
4. The Concert Life with your Wine Bra.
We’re not saying you should sneak wine into concerts with the help of a wine bra… but we’re not saying you shouldn’t either. Booze prices at concerts are unreal, and water is usually more than free, which is too much! So if you feel the need to pack a little liquid into the event of the season, we will not tell a soul. Pinky swear!
If security happens to catch on to your tricks, just remove the bladder, and drink before you enter. No one is the boss of you! Also, the sports bra holding the wine rack is a great concert going choice. Perfect for your favorite crop top, or no top at all!
Tip: If you plan on jumping around in the pit at your next rock concert, avoid red wine. One hard chest bump with a spike clad rocker could have you bleeding wine, and the paramedics rushing to your rescue!
5. No Sharesies!
Drinking out of a spout doesn’t really allow other people to swipe your drink, unless you want to share it. Making the wine bra perfect for avoiding germs, and scary date rape drugs all the same. That being said, keep an eye on the nozzle. You don’t want some weirdo at a house party sneaking slurps of your yummy beverage. Yuck.
6. Free Hands.
Most obvious perk to sporting a wine filled bra is not holding your drink. You can chat you’re your wildly expressive waving hands and not douse a friend in red wine. There is 90’s music on and the dance floor is packed —fear not— you won’t spill a drop busting a move, or all of your moves, all night lon
For non-party goers, being hands free has other perks. Taking your kids to the park —day drink away! Hiking with a picnic —no need to carry the wine! Gardening —leave those wine glasses in the cupboard! Anything you like to accomplish while indulging in wine can be done while wearing the wine rack.
7. Extra Beach Fun.
Speaking of being hands free… Throw on some bikini bottoms and head to the beach. With a wine bra and filled, you’re sure to have a blast. Beach volleyball, anyone?
You could even lay back and read a book in the shade. Your drink won’t get tipped over by that hunk chasing a football. Nor will sand from his fall cloud your beautiful wine. A lot of common beach problems are solved with wine rack. Do you need more reason to own one?
8. Skip The Wine.
I know we’ve briefly mentioned water, but the wine bra is useful for a few drinks. You could fill it up with your favorite mix of hard alcohol and soda, or rock water to rehydrate. There is a plethora of options, but we do not suggest margarita mixtures unless you like your nipples hard enough to slice through ice! Another smart tip: stay away from garnishes. Mojitos with mint might just clog up the spout and then you’re out of luck and your day is in ruins!
9. Dinner and a Movie, Anyone?
Sure, there are adult movie theaters that serve wine, but how often do you find yourself at a non-liquor serving theater sipping soda and thinking “a glass of wine would be so much better right now”?? Wiggle into the wine bra, and solve that annoying dilemma. The next time to take your kids to the next big movie, or wind up watching Rom-Coms with your girlfriends, you will be prepared to have the best time and that’s all we can hope for!
10. Gift the Wine Bra.
The wine rack is a great gift for that special person in your life who loves to drink wine and have a great time. It makes a great light hearted gift perfect for making your loved ones smile. Any occasion or no occasion at all, order a few, cause no one will want to share this!
These are just ten of the many reasons you, and everyone you know, deserve a wine bra. Stock up and get ready for a summer full of boozy good times!
(Note: If you want to have some fun with your own wine bra, click this link and get yours today!)